You know that feeling when you’re watching your partner crush their goals while you’re not?
It’s uncomfortable and maybe even a little embarrassing.
Every strong partnership, whether we’re talking business or marriage, only works when BOTH people are growing. But the thing that trips up so many couples is when one person starts leveling up while the other stays exactly where they are.
And that creates a gap. That gap shows up everywhere — in connection, in attraction, in conversation, even in how you parent your kids.
But what happens when you both decide to invest in yourselves? The return is bigger than you’d expect.
My husband, Dustin, and I had this exact conversation on The Smoke Show podcast, Investing in Ourselves Changed Our Marriage Forever. We got pretty raw about how prioritizing our health and growth completely changed our marriage, our careers, our intimacy, and, honestly, our entire lives.
The Decision That Flipped Everything
This all started when I pushed Dustin to join the Supra Human coaching program. He wasn’t having it at first with the classic, “I already know what I need to do” response.
He was putting in the effort but wasn’t seeing the results he wanted. We’ve all been there, right? You hit that plateau where you’re working hard but going nowhere, and what you need is someone to call you out and guide you through it.
That single investment kicked off this chain reaction, where we both committed to showing up as our absolute best, physically, mentally, and in every way possible.
And the results didn’t just show up in the mirror.
What Self-Investment Did For Our Marriage
Sure, the physical stuff matters. When you feel good in your skin, your confidence goes through the roof, your energy changes, and yes, intimacy gets better because you’re not hiding from your partner or coming up with excuses to avoid that intimacy.
But it went so much deeper than that.
We became equals in our hunger for growth. Nobody was dragging the other one along anymore. We matched each other’s energy, ambition, and effort. And let me tell you, that kind of mutual investment builds the type of respect that keeps the attraction alive.
Why Your Leadership Depends on This
The benefits didn’t stay contained to our marriage. They leaked into every single area of life.
Your family notices. Your children notice—your team notices. Your community notices whether you actually walk the walk or just talk a good game.
Our kids are teenagers now, and they watch us train every day. They see us make the choices we make every day. They watch us keep our commitments to ourselves. They’re learning discipline not because we lecture them about it, but because they SEE it in action every single day.
In business, when you exude confidence, energy, and presence, you become magnetic. People are drawn to you. When you show up at your best, people trust you. They choose you over someone who’s just phoning it in. Why? Because when it is obvious that you display discipline in your physical body, odds are, you display it in other areas as well. Which in turn tells potential clients, your team, or whoever else is watching that you are someone who is committed to excellence.
The Money Part Nobody Wants to Talk About
People always ask what investing in health “costs.”
The problem is that’s the wrong question. It’s not a cost, it’s an investment with a measurable return.
For us, that return showed up as better performance, more opportunities, and a very noticeable increase in income. We are not special. I’ve worked with clients who tripled their sales, landed promotions, or closed more deals simply because they showed up sharper, fitter, and more confident.
The math is pretty simple. A better you equals better results.
Get Out of the “Best Days Are Behind Me” Trap
I’ve worked with too many people who’ve convinced themselves their peak is in the rearview mirror. They are stuck in patterns that don’t serve them, telling themselves change isn’t possible at their age or stage of life.
That’s garbage.
You’re only one decision away from rewriting your future. Habits compound. The good ones AND the bad ones. If you’ve fallen into patterns that drain your energy and confidence, you can change them. But it requires commitment and a willingness to get uncomfortable.
Questions Worth Asking Yourself Right Now
- If my partner is leveling up, am I meeting them at that standard?
- How would my marriage, career, and energy change if I invested in myself fully?
- If my kids or team watched my daily habits, would they be inspired to follow them?
- Ten years from now, will I regret not taking action today?
Leveling Up Together
Behind you is the life you’ve built so far. Ahead of you is the one you could create if you’re both willing to rise together.
Choose growth over staying comfortable. Choose mutual respect over imbalance. And choose to be the partner, parent, and leader who lives up to the standard they set.
I promise, you won’t regret the investment. You’ll regret the excuses.
Want the full conversation? Listen to the complete episode, Investing in Ourselves Changed Our Marriage Forever, of The Smoke Show, then visit SmokeShowBody.com to take the first step toward building the ultimate version of yourself.
