Some truths make people uncomfortable. And in a culture where everyone’s supposed to be “nice” all the time, most people won’t say them out loud.
Here’s one that needs to be said. The modern body positivity movement, while it started with good intentions, has become more harmful than helpful in some ways.
This isn’t meant to shame anyone. I’m calling out a mindset that keeps people stuck, sick, and slowly breaking down while they convince themselves they’re practicing “self-love.”
This article is adapted from an episode, The Lie Behind Body Positivity No One Wants to Admit of The Smoke Show with Kattie Fleece, where we explore what real body love means, why it’s not always comfortable, and how to stop lying to yourself about self-care.
When Body Positivity Goes Off Track
When body positivity started, it was fighting for important stuff. Pushing back against impossible beauty standards, challenging size discrimination, and breaking this toxic idea that your worth is tied to a number on the scale.
But somewhere along the way, it shifted from empowering people to enabling them.
The truth is, you cannot say you love and respect your body while you’re neglecting or damaging it. Real love requires action (care, maintenance, and protection).
The Call That Changed How I See Everything
I’ll never forget the consultation call I took in 2019 from my hotel room.
This woman was telling me on the phone that her doctor warned her, “You need to lose about 150 to 200 pounds or start planning your funeral”.
Then she says something that left my jaw on the floor.
“But I love my body as it is, and my husband doesn’t want me to change.”
That wasn’t empowerment. That was giving up and calling it “self-love”.
Ignoring serious health risks while clinging to some feel-good story isn’t compassion. That’s abandonment.
The Facts Your Body Can’t Argue With
Heart disease is the number one killer in America. Obesity is the leading risk factor. One in three Americans has metabolic syndrome, which puts them at risk for diabetes, stroke, and heart failure.
Your body doesn’t care about your Instagram captions. It responds to what you do – what you eat, how you move, how you rest, how you fuel it. Your bloodwork doesn’t lie. Your joints don’t lie. Your body keeps the score. Period.
There’s a Difference Between Self-Worth and Self-Care
Your health does not define your worth as a human being. But your well-being is up to YOU.
True body love isn’t about ignoring warning signs like being exhausted all the time, dealing with inflammation, or getting terrible test results. It’s about listening when your body is trying to tell you something and responding when it’s crying for help.
The Messages That Keep Us Trapped
“Love yourself no matter what” sounds empowering, right? But when you’re using it as an excuse to avoid making changes, it’s actually a trap.
Here’s what I know to be true. You can love yourself today while still wanting a healthier, stronger, more vibrant tomorrow. Both things can exist at the same time.
What Real Body Love Looks Like
Real body love says things like this:
- You matter enough for me to invest in your health, energy, and future.
- I’m going to choose habits today that my future self will thank me for.
- I’m going to respect the only home I’ll ever live in, which is my body.
It’s not just about looking good (although that’s the icing on the cake). It’s about building a life and a body that feels good to live in.
Here’s Your Challenge
If you say you love yourself, prove it, not with words, not with captions on social media, but with consistent action.
Because when it’s all said and done, what you do will always speak the loudest.
Want the full conversation? Listen to the complete episode of The Lie Behind Body Positivity No One Wants to Admit on The Smoke Show, then visit SmokeShowBody.com to take the first step toward building the ultimate version of yourself.
